She is sleeping well. One thing about being in a room with nothing to do you get a lot of sleep in. I think the lack of sleep was really hurting her. She was up late with friends on line or texting. She was pretending to go to school during the day (when she was pretending to be sick) Add to this the party/hangout seen on the weekends and the drugs and well she was not getting enough sleep.
I think also there was an element of her body getting clean. I don't know how addicted to drugs or alcohol she was but it is clear to me now that the first two days carried an element of anxious nerves that is missing today.
This first week I think is really the testing period of how things are going to go. I have to stay strong and establish the guidelines. She has to earn to get. No more tears, no more silent treatment.
I so love my daughter. I see her and my heart just breaks. Every time I slide the lock shut on that door and I know she is inside my heart breaks a little. I also know that it is within her grasp to earn her way out. The ball is in her court but she has no idea how much I want her to get out. No parent wants their kid in a prison.
On the flip side no parent wants their kid out of control either. No one wants their kid coming home with a huge bite mark and bruises where some one has held them down. No one wants to see their child decide that they will just give up on school. No one wants their kid to be arrested and blow it off like its nothing.
Next step is establish order. Work outs, food times, chores, study time. Lucky Karin called the school. They are going to treat this like she is ill so we are getting a load of home work. I'm happy about that. She will be able to rescue some credits and bring some order to her life.
Ok that's enough for now
4 comments:
Wow... I can not express how much I respect your resolve. It must be so very taxing on you emotionally.
Thank goodness you've found her. I have hope for you all. From experience, being a troubled teen once, I just have a suggestion. When you get her into a doctor, have her thyroid tested. Just to rule it out. Good luck and good wishes.
Everything you're doing shows just how much you love your daughter. I am sure it's not easy for you, or anyone in your family. Stick with it, and eventually she'll figure out that you love her, no matter what. Even if you don't like what she does or says.
I see an incredible strength in you, through your writing here, and know that it *will* make a difference.
We struggled with our son and finally sent him to a wilderness program and a therapeutic boarding school. The funny, loving kid I remeber has returned 13 months later. When he was starting to get out of control I said to him "you don't realize how much I love you." You and your ex are doing hardwork and heartwork to show how great your love is. After her head is clear and her bodies is rid of some substances consider professional help. Our son has benefited greatly from being removed to a healthy and new environment and learned to substitute drug and alcohol use for academics and healthy activites. I respect you so much for you determination and perserverance. There are more of us out here than you think who understand the pain of suffering with a hurting child. There is hope!!
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