Dear Karin
Well I think that we have to remember that Tori is still at the very start of the starting line. Tonight I think I saw something in Tori that proved to me that she is just playing along right now. When she figured out that she sort of blew it then she reverted back to the cry and ask for a change. I thought we were going to go back down the same old path so I left the room. The second I stepped away she stopped crying.
I knew things were not progressing as fast as she was letting on. So I kept my eye out. She is coming to grips with the fact that she has to earn everything back. She keeps pushing me on a time line and goals as in how long until I can talk to my friends. (For this read Collin) I told her I don’t have a big chart with everything on it. It’s more then just saying the right thing and being nice.
So here is the angle she is playing right now so you can be ready for it. She is going to say she misses you and she will cry it out. I said nothing but inside I knew this was just another way of using drama to change the game.
Now it’s flattering to assume she is missing you. Is also playing on us as parents I mean how can I keep her from her mom (as if) but if this was true why didn’t she listen to you when she was there, why was she yelling at you and why was she running away if she needs you so much. Why was she treating you like shit and not listening. I did not argue but the die was cast and she saw that I saw the flaw in her statement. I did not say a thing or challenge her I just left.
So she’s doing what any kid should be doing and that is trying to fight their way out and around the rules. When there was no way around she used the same old strategy of cry and push emotional buttons.
So we know she is still in stage one here.
Just wanted you to be ready for the following.
1. When will I have X
2. I miss you
3. Crying
Well the fact is she does miss you. What daughter wouldn’t but she really misses the control more.
Be ready.
Her lament of the night "How come Colin needs all the help and no one will help him. Everyone wants to help me and don't need it"
Ok well good night
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1 comment:
Hey -my hubby and i went through something very similar to this with our Michael ... Washington County offers positive parenting classes ... I know you said everyone is coming up with ideas after the fact, but it really helped us, so ... if youare interested, I will be glad to get you more info, and if you are uncomfortable or unable to go to the classes, I have all our coursework ... on another note, showing that you have completed the classes will help in the event that you ever have to face (unpleasant) court time due to yer girl ... you can reach me at sajah2000 at yahoo dot com
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